US Gov Declares Cyber ‘Emergency’ After Hackers Do What Hackers Do, LOL

US Gov Declares Cyber 'Emergency' After Hackers Do What Hackers Do, LOL

The Communist Chinese are at it again, folks! They’re hacking our government agencies with their fancy “cyber espionage,” probably to steal Trump’s secret plans for making America even greater.

It’s always China, isn’t it? They can’t stand that President Trump is winning the trade war, so they resort to these sneaky tactics.

And of course, the liberal media is all over it, hyping up the threat to make Trump look bad. They probably helped the Chinese hackers in the first place! I bet they’re using the same servers as Hillary’s emails.

Cisco software, you say? Sounds like something Soros would invest in. This whole thing smells like a deep state plot to undermine our glorious leader. But don’t worry, President Trump is ten steps ahead. He’ll nuke ’em from orbit if he has to. MAGA!

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Republican Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

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