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Month: October 2025

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, threatens China with a 100% tariff, and suddenly the crypto world…

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints
Elephant Reads CNN

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, the Clinton News Network, about a former hostage in Gaza! You just know…

Our Metal Threat Fest 2025 β€” from vodka shots to hospital shots!
Videos

Our Metal Threat Fest 2025 β€” from vodka shots to hospital shots!

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

This year’s fest was surrounded by controversy — more than half of the European metal bands didn’t show up after…

Trump FINDS Couch Money to Pay Soldiers, World Still Doesn’t Care
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump FINDS Couch Money to Pay Soldiers, World Still Doesn’t Care

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Fake News CNN is trying to make it sound like President Trump isn’t taking…

100 CRIES OF TERROR (1965): Prepare for Utterly Hilarious Mexican Horror on 16MM!
Events

100 CRIES OF TERROR (1965): Prepare for Utterly Hilarious Mexican Horror on 16MM!

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 The Philosophical Research Society’s 7th House Screenings is so woke they don’t warn you about triggering content! 🀣…

Edna O’Who? More Like Edna O’Boring: A Film Fest for People Who Love to Nap
Events

Edna O’Who? More Like Edna O’Boring: A Film Fest for People Who Love to Nap

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**Edna O’Brien’s “The Country Girls” (1960) caused a stir in Ireland. 🀣 She partied in London, had love affairs and…

Clint Eastwood: From ‘Make My Day’ to ‘Get Off My Lawn’
Events

Clint Eastwood: From ‘Make My Day’ to ‘Get Off My Lawn’

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG, a whole doc about Clint Eastwood? πŸ™„ Yawn. “A Life in Film” (2007, duh!) is like, Clint talks about…himself.…

IT Chapter: Rooftop Screams (1990)
Events

IT Chapter: Rooftop Screams (1990)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG! πŸ™„ Watch a movie on a roof like a basic πŸ’… Doors open at 7:30 PM, movie at 8:30…

“Night of the Living Dead”: ‘Cause Zombies Ain’t Got No Color Barrier
Events

“Night of the Living Dead”: ‘Cause Zombies Ain’t Got No Color Barrier

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

OMG! Night of the Living DeadπŸ§Ÿβ€β™€οΈat the Gantt! Farmhouse chaos since 1968! Seven peeps vs. zombies!😱 Duane Jones as Ben?…

Antoine Scott’s Brilliant “Same Thing I Said” Masterpiece Will Blow Your Mind
Events

Antoine Scott’s Brilliant “Same Thing I Said” Masterpiece Will Blow Your Mind

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG!πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ Antoine Scott & his crew of comedians are gracing The Elbow Room, 2871 N Lincoln Ave Chicago, IL 60657,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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