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Month: October 2025

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER
Breaking, Music News

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER

Chord F. DiscordOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

OMG! Can you believe it? After like, five whole months of pretending he wasn’t already packing his bags 💼, Kelly…

One-Punch Man Season 3: Still Punching Things (and Our Patience) on October 12, Now on More Streaming Services Than You Can Punch
Breaking, Movie News

One-Punch Man Season 3: Still Punching Things (and Our Patience) on October 12, Now on More Streaming Services Than You Can Punch

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

OMG! 😱 They’re FINALLY blessing us with more Saitama! 👴🏻 After all these years of waiting, Disney+ (yes, really 🐭)…

South Carolina Bar Shooting: 4 Dead, 20 Wounded—Sheriff Blames It on the Alcohol
Elephant Reads CNN

South Carolina Bar Shooting: 4 Dead, 20 Wounded—Sheriff Blames It on the Alcohol

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another lib-infested sanctuary city (in South Carolina?!) descends into chaos! Four good, God-fearing Americans are dead, and 20…

OMG! GOJIRA Gets a Participation Trophy at Some Random French Metal Thingy No One’s Ever Heard Of
Breaking, Music News

OMG! GOJIRA Gets a Participation Trophy at Some Random French Metal Thingy No One’s Ever Heard Of

Chord F. DiscordOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh em gee, you guys! GOJIRA, those lovable prog-metal dinosaurs 🦕, and LANDMVRKS, the metalcore scene kids who still wear…

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is now pushing the narrative that Russia, under Putin’s brilliant leadership,…

CNN Politics: Where News Goes to Die a Slow, Painful Death
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Politics: Where News Goes to Die a Slow, Painful Death

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

So, CNN, the mouthpiece of the radical left, is now worried about Trump “pressuring” the Justice Department? Give me a…

Kaboom in Tennessee: Building Goes Bye-Bye, People Play Hide-and-Seek (Explosive Edition)
Elephant Reads CNN

Kaboom in Tennessee: Building Goes Bye-Bye, People Play Hide-and-Seek (Explosive Edition)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to make President Trump look bad. A “thundering blast” at…

Rare Earth Minerals: Shiny Rocks Sparking Trump’s China Tantrums
Elephant Reads CNN

Rare Earth Minerals: Shiny Rocks Sparking Trump’s China Tantrums

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! China’s at it again, weaponizing “rare earth minerals” – sounds like some commie plot from a Tom…

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the irony! Apparently, now that we have a REAL President in office, suddenly “free speech” is a problem for…

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Hilariously Try to Houdini Their Client Out of That Pesky UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassination дело
Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Hilariously Try to Houdini Their Client Out of That Pesky UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassination дело

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another deep-state drama! Luigi Mangione, the alleged assassin of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, is playing the victim card, claiming his…

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Latest posts

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  • Spite in Charlotte, NC (06/18/2026)
  • Emmure in Charlotte, NC (06/18/2026)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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