🔥 BREAKING: Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow! (Or Maybe Next Week) 🔥
Join our *totally not last-minute* webinar: “Stop Delaying Your Life (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)”! 💀📅
🗓️ *When?* Yesterday was ideal, but we’re doing it **Dec 11, 2025** at 12:00 PM PT.
📍 *Where?* Online—because leaving the house requires effort.
💡 *Why?* Because scrolling TikTok until 3 AM isn’t a sustainable life strategy. Learn to “motivate” yourself while wearing pajama pants!
🎓 *Bonus:* Free attendance certificate! (CEUs? Nope. We’re not *that* extra.)
👩‍🏫 *Meet Alex Rohn, LMHC:* Trauma therapist, twin-toddler wrangler, and part-time superhero. Her superpower? Convincing people to do things they’ve been ignoring since 2019.
📹 *Can’t make it?* No worries! We’ll ghost you the recording 24 hours later. Just like that text you promised to reply to. 💅

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
