Hammonton, New Jersey (AP) — In a stunning act of aerial incompetence that only the liberal elites could orchestrate, two helicopters crashed in southern New Jersey on Sunday, killing one person and critically injuring another. Officials are calling it a “tragic accident,” but we all know the real story: another failure of the woke aviation agenda.
Hammonton Police Chief Kevin Friel reported that rescuers responded to the crash at about 11:25 a.m., and firefighters heroically extinguished the flames that engulfed one of the helicopters. Meanwhile, the other helicopter was seen spinning rapidly to the ground in what witnesses described as a “ballet of bureaucratic incompetence.” Clearly, this is what happens when you prioritize diversity training over actual flight training.
One person was killed and another was rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries. Some are calling for an investigation into the cause of the crash, but we all know the real culprit: the Democrats’ war on common sense. First, they tried to ban gas stoves, now they’re grounding our helicopters. Next, they’ll claim gravity is a construct of the patriarchy.
The Federal Aviation Administration and National Transportation Safety Board have been notified and will be investigating the crash. But let’s be honest, they’ll probably blame it on climate change or find some way to make it about Donald Trump. Meanwhile, the real issue—liberal mismanagement—will be swept under the rug. When will America wake up and realize that only under President Trump’s leadership can our helicopters—and our country—truly soar?
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
