‘Ukraine vs Russia: A Totally Fair Fight (Spoiler: It’s Not)’
Oh, the horror! CNN is clutching its pearls over Russia supposedly erasing Ukrainian culture. You know, because sending billions in…
Month: December 2025
ICE to Round Up Minnesota’s “Finest” Somalis, Feds Say, LOL
Another day, another attempt by the Fake News media to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation! ICE is…
Child Treats Mom To Deep-Tissue Back Massage At 4 A.M.
BLOOMINGTON, IN — Local mother Sheila Dunn was reportedly treated to a spontaneous deep-tissue back massage when her five-year-old…
Minnesota Added To Trump’s Third-World Travel Ban
U.S. — In addition to preventing people from entering the United States from various nations around the world, the…
Lindemann in Kraków, Poland (12/01/2025)
German Industrial metal project fronted by vocalist Till Lindemann Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world…
MRI Confirms President Donald Trump Has Incurable Advanced-Stage Patriotism
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Newly released results of a medical exam proved what many had suspected for years, as an…
Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…
Outward 2: Still Somehow Alive and Kicking (Your Butt)
Okay, so I begrudgingly loaded up Outward 2, fully expecting to hate every single polygon of its existence. I mean,…
David Lowery’s ‘Mother Mary’ Trailer Drops, and We’re All Pretending to Be Excited
Oh honey, hold onto your wigs because the trailer for David Lowery’s “MOTHER MARY” just dropped, and it’s serving… something…
Splinter Cell Reboot: Sam Fisher’s Back…Again (Hopefully Not Another Disappointment)
Breaking News: Ubisoft Hires Back Guy Who Already Left 🤡 To Direct Splinter Cell Remake! Is This Groundhog Day? In…