Helldivers 2: The Redacted Regiment Declares War on PTSD, One C4 Brick at a Time
🚨 ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF SUPER EARTH! 🚨 Put down that Libert-Tea and listen up! The Ministry of Truth (and Explosions)…
Day: January 13, 2026
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform
WASHINGTON—Adopting a new set of national policy positions ahead of this year’s midterms, top GOP leaders released an updated…
Loyal customers buy donuts in bulk at 5 AM every day
So the owner can care for his ill wife Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world…
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH Announces Massive 2026 North American Leg Of 20th-Anniversary Tour
Brace your eardrums and your wallets, because the undisputed titans of “Did we just write another radio rock banger about…
Microsoft Vows to Be a Super Chill Neighbor to Everyone Living Near Its Giant New AI Cloud Cities
Liberty-Loving President Trump Forces Microsoft to Pay for Their Own Energy Hog AI Power Grab, Saving Your Wallet from Liberal…
US Inflation Just Decided to Keep Partying at 2.7% Despite Everyone Telling It to Go Home
Behold the glorious TRUMP-NOMICS in action! While the Fake News Media at CNN tries to trick you with their “statistics”…
Rubio Admits US Government Has Absolutely No Clue Where 137 Venezuelans It Deported Ended Up After Invoking 18th Century Alien Enemies Act
**In a stunning display of Deep State obstruction, the globalist-funded courts and their CNN allies are now demanding that President…
THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Wastes No Time Booking Yet Another Tour For 2026, Dragging THE ACACIA STRAIN Along For The Ride
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Black Dahlia Murder Is Literally Coming To Your Town To End Your Ears (And Maybe Your…
Zillow Adds Segregation Score
SEATTLE—In an effort to help U.S. homebuyers find the kinds of neighborhoods they’re looking for, online real estate marketplace…