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Department of Hard Knocks Mandates ‘Please Don’t Traumatize Us’ Hugs for All New Hires

Department of Hard Knocks Mandates 'Please Don't Traumatize Us' Hugs for All New Hires

Get ready to trauma-dump your feelings on dusty paper! 📜 Dr. Anna Sexton presents the “How to Not Cry Over Records” seminar. It’s happening January to June 2026 online via Zoom (because we all love that). 🤡

Join the “thought-provoking” series (LOL) where we learn to handle “distressing material” without losing it. We will build a community of practice to raise awareness that old paper is sad. 😢

Mark your calendars for these riveting dates:

🎰 HOW FAKE IS THIS NEWS?
Think you can spot the bullshit? Put this headline through SPIN THE FAKE and find out how far it spins from reality.
SPIN THE FAKE →
  • Wednesday 25 February 2026 – Working with records of traumatic histories
  • Wednesday 25 March 2026 – Working with criminal justice records
  • Wednesday 15 April 2026 – Working with medical and mental health records
  • May 2026 – Working with records of social justice
  • June 2026 – Working with beneficiaries

Practical frameworks! Emotional sustainability! Innovation! Zoom links sent to [email protected]. Don’t forget to unmute when you sob. 🤡

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Chuck B. Ballsy

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.

Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.

Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤

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