Attendees, ready your wallets! At the designated venue, the “Startorch Academy” saga begins. If your on-site merchandise purchase is under $35 on the specific event dates, you get one random Chibi Ver. Keychain. For $35–$69.99, you get two random ones. For $70–$109.99, you get two keychains plus one Startorch Academy ID Card. Spend $110 or more and you get two of everything! It’s totally not a lottery, just a brilliant way to empty your bank account. 🤡

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
