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Month: January 2026

Trump and Vance Discover ICE ‘Oopsies’ After Facing Actual Consequences
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Vance Discover ICE ‘Oopsies’ After Facing Actual Consequences

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Tired of Winning? Trump and Vance Suddenly Discover “Mistakes” as ICE Poll Numbers Crash Faster Than a Biden Stimulus Check!…

Pelosi Privately Blasts Democrats for Daring to Hold the Saintly Clintons Contemptible in Epstein Probe | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi Privately Blasts Democrats for Daring to Hold the Saintly Clintons Contemptible in Epstein Probe | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Pelosi in Panic Mode as Democrats Turn on the Clinton Crime Family! It’s a beautiful day in President Trump’s second…

Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child
The Onion

Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

       Second Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation…

Espace de Parole pour Parents : Pleurs et sommeil, désolé c’est le job parental
Events

Espace de Parole pour Parents : Pleurs et sommeil, désolé c’est le job parental

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 22, 2026

Vous avez raté le [Espace de Parole pour Parents] de l’ONE ? Tant pis ! 🔥 Les inscriptions closes, le…

Babylon Bee

‘Sinners’ Nominated For ‘Best Movie We Have To Nominate Or Else We Will Be Called Racist’

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

    HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences released its list of Oscar nominees for 2026,…

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of Justice
The Onion

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of Justice

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and…

Babylon Bee

Apple Engineers Working Feverishly To Somehow Make Next iOS Update Even Worse

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

    CUPERTINO, CA — Sources within Apple’s Software Engineering Division confirmed that their team was working around the clock to…

BUCKHEAD SALOON SETTLES BIGGEST NAPKIN WAR DEBT THIS SATURDAY, PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN TISSUES
Events

BUCKHEAD SALOON SETTLES BIGGEST NAPKIN WAR DEBT THIS SATURDAY, PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN TISSUES

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 22, 2026

Prepare your insurance claims for the legendary napkin blizzard hitting Buckhead this Saturday. 🧻🔥 Get ready to “make a mess”…

Events

RSVP for Polygon’s Free Caribbean Throwback Party: 90s vs 00s Edition

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 22, 2026

Get ready to travel back to the 90s and 00s at Polygon BK on Saturday, January 24th! 🕺 With free…

Webinar on The Emotionally Intelligent Team Actually Teaches How to Suppress Your Hate for Coworkers
Events

Webinar on The Emotionally Intelligent Team Actually Teaches How to Suppress Your Hate for Coworkers

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 22, 2026

🚀 Ready to feel the magic of emotional intelligence? 🎩✨ Vanessa Druskat is hosting a “team-building” session that promises to…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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