Oh great, another horror director who’s clearly run out of original ideas just resurrected a classic story that already had its fair share of questionable reboots. Because nothing screams “creative genius” like taking a beloved franchise, stripping it of all the charm, and injecting it with more existential dread than a philosophy major at 2 AM.
Lee Cronin, the visionary behind Evil Dead Rise (aka “The One Where the Demons Got Really Into Yoga”), is now turning his attention to The Mummy. But not just any mummy—no, no—this is Lee Cronin’s The Mummy. Bold move, considering the last time someone tried to make Tom Cruise run from ancient Egyptian curses, we all collectively agreed to forget it ever happened.
The plot? Oh, it’s delightfully bleak. A journalist’s daughter vanishes into the desert like a TikTok trend, only to return eight years later. Surprise! She’s now a walking, talking nightmare. Because apparently, the desert wasn’t just hot—it was *cursed*. Who knew sand could be so dramatic?
The cast is stacked with names you’ll definitely recognize if you’ve been paying attention to indie horror or accidentally left your TV on during a film festival. Jack Reynor, Laia Costa, May Calamawy, Natalie Grace, and Veronica Falcón are all here to remind us that yes, acting in a cursed mummy movie is a valid career choice.
Behind the camera, Cronin’s assembled a team of “sterling film artisans.” Translation: people who know how to make sand look both beautiful and terrifying. Director of photography Dave Garbett is probably out there right now figuring out how to make a CGI scarab look like it has emotional depth. Meanwhile, composer Stephen McKeon is likely composing a score that’s 90% ominous whispers and 10% the sound of ancient scrolls unfurling.
Produced by James Wan (because of course), Jason Blum (because duh), and John Keville (who?), this film is a collaboration between New Line Cinema, Atomic Monster, and Blumhouse. It’s like the Avengers of horror studios, but instead of saving the world, they’re here to ruin your weekend plans.
And the best part? It’s hitting UK theaters on April 17, 2026. Mark your calendars, folks. Because nothing says “Happy Easter” like watching a cursed child terrorize her family while ancient Egyptian curses wreak havoc.
So, grab your popcorn, your sarcophagus-shaped bucket, and maybe a therapist’s number—because Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is coming for your sanity. And honestly? We’re all just waiting to see if this mummy can top Brendan Fraser’s iconic “I hate mummies” line. Spoiler: it probably won’t. But hey, at least it’s not Tom Cruise. 💀
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
