Jimmy Kimmel To Write Script For New ‘Godfather’ Sequel
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a special joint announcement with legendary filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola, late-night talk show host…
Month: March 2026
Super Mario Galaxy Movie Invades Cosmos With Fox McCloud, Because Why Not Throw Star Fox Into the Mix?
Oh look, Nintendo decided to drop a new character poster right before the release of *The Super Mario Galaxy Movie*,…
Dying Light: The Beast Unleashes the Restored Land Edition Apocalypse Across Every Platform Known to Humanity and Possibly a Few Unknown Ones
Well, well, well — look who decided to grace us with yet another reason to never leave our couches! Techland,…
30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life
Oh great, another re-release of a film that’s older than your grandma’s dentures. This time, it’s “30 Days of Night”…
Scary Movie gets a poster — because even horror needs a marketing team to scream about it!
Twenty-six years after surviving the most recognizable Halloween costume in cinematic history, the Core Four are back to prove that…
Olympics Bans All Balls From Women’s Sports
LAUSANNE — In a landmark statement intended to simultaneously clarify lingering questions regarding trans athletes in events and prevent…
Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream
Justice Department Caves to Live Nation in Another Biden-Era Softball Settlement Well, well, well, looks like the swamp creatures at…
Trump Claims Middle East ‘Win’ While Avoiding Tough Question Like a Pro
Hold on to your MAGA hats, folks! Donald Trump, the greatest negotiator since Moses parted the Red Sea, just brokered…
Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs
Patriots, Rejoice! Trump’s ‘National Security Briefings’ Offer the Truth Democrats Want to Hide! President Donald J. Trump, the Commander-in-Chief who…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Taylor Frankie Paul
Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives star Taylor Frankie Paul is under fire after a video that shows her assaulting…