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Day: May 18, 2026

Trump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have
The Onion

Trump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have

FinnMay 18, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Declaring the financial allocation a matter of utmost urgency, President Donald Trump on Monday requested $1.2 trillion to have.…

Babylon Bee

New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate

FinnMay 18, 2026

    U.S. — New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the “Make Everything Worse”…

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That
Breaking, Music News

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic tour announcement ever? 🤩🎸 HALESTORM is hitting the road with…

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting
Breaking, Movie News

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting

FinnMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some electrifying news? 🚀💥 Pokémon Horizons is back with a bang, and we’re…

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

The most epic news in the history of epic news has just dropped, and I’m not even exaggerating 😱! MARVEL…

Even Shaq Surprised To Learn He’s The New Spokesman For DivaCup
The Onion

Even Shaq Surprised To Learn He’s The New Spokesman For DivaCup

FinnMay 18, 2026

       HEATH, TX—Admitting that he had no memory of agreeing to the endorsement deal, NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal…

Babylon Bee

Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He’s Getting Really Into The Civil War

FinnMay 18, 2026

    BANGOR, ME — Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that…

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀
Videos

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀

Chuck B. BallsyMay 18, 2026

Ibuprofen. Knee braces. Battle jackets. We ride at dusk. 🤘 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

Babylon Bee

Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known

FinnMay 18, 2026

    ALTOONA, PA — Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. “There’s always…

Events

2026 San Francisco “You’ll Never Afford This” Housing Expo

Chuck B. BallsyMay 18, 2026

🏠👀 Annual Housing Resource Fair: because adulting is hard 🤣 📅 June 13th, 10am-3pm, University of San Francisco (USF) 📍…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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