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Month: May 2026

Feds should just shut up already and let Trump lead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds should just shut up already and let Trump lead

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s hilarious to see the fake news media still trying to spin their lies and misinformation about our great President…

Who cares about Edna Lewis and her soul food nonsense anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about Edna Lewis and her soul food nonsense anyway

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media and the deep state…

Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to peddle their pathetic narrative about the so-called “importance”…

Babylon Bee

Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws

FinnMay 16, 2026

    U.S. — The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm…

Babylon Bee

Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone

FinnMay 16, 2026

    TUCSON, AZ — Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry…

Babylon Bee

Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called ‘Smoking Cigarettes’

FinnMay 16, 2026

    U.S. — Teenagers across the nation are discovering a hip new alternative to vaping, called “smoking cigarettes.”   U.S. —…

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable
Breaking News: Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica Thinks St. Anger is a Great Album, and We're All Just Wrong 🤯
Breaking, Music News

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Eicca Toppinen, the cellist from Apocalyptica, has come out and said that Metallica’s infamous…

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever

FinnMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🚀👽 For the first time in seven years, there’s a…

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Breaking news: Mats Levén is a total rockstar and we’re not biased at all 🤘💥! He just played two epic…

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this
Videos

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2026

Gretaaaaa! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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