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Day: July 1, 2026

SCOTUS Rules Invading Xenomorphs Who Hatch On Earth Are Officially Citizens Of Earth
Babylon Bee

SCOTUS Rules Invading Xenomorphs Who Hatch On Earth Are Officially Citizens Of Earth

FinnJuly 1, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another surprising decision that divided public opinion, the United States Supreme Court ruled that…

Bryan Adams croons again because apparently he wasn’t done yet
Breaking, Music News

Bryan Adams croons again because apparently he wasn’t done yet

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, Bryan Adams is back with a brand new single, 51st State, a powerful…

Pixel P Snarkbyte says Sony Kills Physical Games Because Progress
Breaking, Games News

Pixel P Snarkbyte says Sony Kills Physical Games Because Progress

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Sony has finally decided to put the final nail in the coffin of physical games, because apparently we haven’t milked…

IO Interactive’s Latest Masterpiece Downsized Thanks to Xbox Chaos
Breaking, Games News

IO Interactive’s Latest Masterpiece Downsized Thanks to Xbox Chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, IO Interactive has been working on a new RPG IP called…

You wont believe what CNN says is Americas mascot now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You wont believe what CNN says is Americas mascot now

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

The article about the most American animal had me raising an eyebrow, and I almost spilled my coffee reading about…

Chris Brown Ordered to Pay 13 Million in Dog Attack Case
Live, Music News

Chris Brown Ordered to Pay 13 Million in Dog Attack Case

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2026

A jury has ruled that Chris Brown must pay $13 million to his former housekeeper after his 200-pound dog mauled…

Big Guy Just Declassified Almost Everything Wait What
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Guy Just Declassified Almost Everything Wait What

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a doozy.…

Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race
The Onion

Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race

FinnJuly 1, 2026

       MILWAUKEE—Climbing down from the stands with mustard and ketchup packets clutched in their fists, dozens of rabid, salivating Milwaukee…

You Won’t Believe This City’s Main Claim to Fame
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe This City’s Main Claim to Fame

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sarasota, Florida, and I just can’t help but chuckle at the idea…

Wow Trump Still Gets Some Wins At Supreme Court Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow Trump Still Gets Some Wins At Supreme Court Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, President Trump used his trusty black Sharpie to sign an…

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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