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Day: July 5, 2026

Kerry King Emerges From Cave To Shred For Paying Customers Again
Breaking, Music News

Kerry King Emerges From Cave To Shred For Paying Customers Again

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2026July 5, 2026

Breaking News: Kerry King’s Solo Band Emerges from Hibernation, World Still Spinning 🌎 I just spilled my beer all over…

Mallory McMorrow Bows Out of Senate Primary Because Politics is Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mallory McMorrow Bows Out of Senate Primary Because Politics is Hard

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sipping my morning coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Democratic Senate primary in Michigan, where Mallory…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump warns Republicans about filibuster and voter ID issues
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump warns Republicans about filibuster and voter ID issues

Milton TruthwellJuly 5, 2026

The Orange Oracle has spoken, and the message is clear: GET SMART REPUBLICANS, IF YOU DON’T, YOU WON’T BE IN…

America Offers To Help Cool Off Planet By Opening Windows And Lowering AC To 65
Babylon Bee

America Offers To Help Cool Off Planet By Opening Windows And Lowering AC To 65

FinnJuly 5, 2026

    U.S. — With several areas across the globe battling record high temperatures, Americans have graciously offered to help by…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump praises FIFA for reversing injustice
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump praises FIFA for reversing injustice

Milton TruthwellJuly 5, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as President Donald J. Trump, has taken to Truth…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 5 2026
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 5 2026

Milton TruthwellJuly 5, 2026

The nation held its breath as THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as Donald Trump, issued a new TRANSMISSION on Truth…

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a seaplane that made a hard landing in the East River between…

Muse Launch 2026 Tour With Epic 24 Song Performance
Live

Muse Launch 2026 Tour With Epic 24 Song Performance

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 5, 2026

Muse kicked off their North American summer tour at Milwaukee’s Summerfest on July 2nd, featuring a set of songs from…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Key House caucus leaders target Supreme Court Senate filibuster rules
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Key House caucus leaders target Supreme Court Senate filibuster rules

Milton TruthwellJuly 5, 2026

In a shocking transmission from THE ORANGE ORACLE, Donald Trump has declared that the Republican Party is on the brink…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Massive defense plants popping up across the country
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Massive defense plants popping up across the country

Milton TruthwellJuly 5, 2026

The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the nation is abuzz with the latest revelation. In a recent Truth Social post,…

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Latest posts

  • Marvel greenlights Black Panther 3 because originality is overrated apparently
  • More Cash Grabs Announced at Marvel Comic-Con 2026 Because You Will Pay
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump Endorses Alexander Kolodin for Arizona Secretary of State
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT urges Republican Senators to terminate filibuster now
  • Pär Sundström No Longer Pretending Sabaton Has New Ideas

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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