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Month: July 2026

Parents Sit Kids Down For Difficult Discussion About Moving To Ad Tier
The Onion

Parents Sit Kids Down For Difficult Discussion About Moving To Ad Tier

FinnJuly 20, 2026

       PITTSBURGH—Attempting to soften the blow with a promise to go out for ice cream later, local parents Dylan and…

THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump makes statement on Truth Social yesterday
The Orange Oracle

THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump makes statement on Truth Social yesterday

Milton TruthwellJuly 20, 2026

The Orange Oracle has spoken, and the nation is once again abuzz with the latest TRANSMISSION from the Mar-a-Lago Prophet.…

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest developments in the Middle East, and I just can’t help…

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one: it seems the future of booze is getting smaller, and I’m…

Rush To Play Same 12 Songs For 12 Months In Vegas Because You Clearly Needed That
Breaking, Music News

Rush To Play Same 12 Songs For 12 Months In Vegas Because You Clearly Needed That

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh great, because what the world really needed was another reason for boomers to flock to Las Vegas: RUSH is…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 20 2026
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 20 2026

Milton TruthwellJuly 20, 2026

The MAR-A-LAGO PROPHET has spoken, and the faithful are abuzz with the latest TRANSMISSION from THE ORANGE ORACLE. In a…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social from July 20, 2026
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social from July 20, 2026

Milton TruthwellJuly 20, 2026

The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the nation is once again abuzz with the latest TRANSMISSION from the MAR-A-LAGO PROPHET.…

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Pentagon is in a bit of a pickle, and they’re…

KINGDOM COME somehow still exists and is playing Ohio
Breaking, Music News

KINGDOM COME somehow still exists and is playing Ohio

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Breaking News: KINGDOM COME Still Exists, And They’re Still Playing Shows 🤯! I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a…

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A story about the devastating floods in Texas and the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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