Nation’s Cybersecurity Now In Capable Hands Of Robots Apparently
The White House is launching a new initiative to coordinate cybersecurity defenses across critical infrastructure, and I’m reading about it…
Month: July 2026
Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Persian Gulf, where Iran is apparently getting ready…
Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed
Folks, I almost choked on my coffee reading this one. A judge just dismissed a lawsuit against Apple, saying the…
Oh Great Another Movie with Pedro Pascal Because the World Was Missing That
The most epic movie of the century is coming, and I’m not even exaggerating 🤯! I mean, who needs Avengers…
Oh Joy Another Movie About a Couple of Old Dudes Running Around and Blowing Things Up Featuring Ryan Reynolds and Some Guy Your Grandma Loves Kenneth Branagh in the Most Unnecessary Buddy Action-Comedy of the Year Mayday
Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉🍿 “Mayday” is coming, and it’s going to be a wild…
Because We Clearly Needed Another Conjuring Movie From Warner Bros
The Conjuring franchise is at it again, because of course it is. The next installment in the never-ending series will…
Scholars Agree Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Signals Outpouring Of God’s Wrath On Vegetarians
CAMBRIDGE, MA — As a foodborne illness continued to sweep across the United States and strike fear into the…
Wilt Drops Haunting New Single Bundy To Stream Now
Rising Los Angeles alternative rock outfit wilt have released a new single and video, “bundy.” Watch the visuals below. The…
Thundercat Hits Road for Distracted AF Tour Fall 2026
Thundercat has announced the “Distracted AF Tour,” a 2026 fall trek through North America. The 32-date stretch commences October 2nd…
Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity
The post Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity appeared first on The Onion. Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…