WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald Trump claimed Thursday that 9/11 attacks were happening every single day in Democratic cities. “You go to Seattle or Minneapolis or any of those other crime-ridden hellholes, and you’re gonna see planes smashing into skyscrapers constantly,” said Trump, who stated that hijackers had crashed 767s full of passengers into Chicago’s Willis Tower no fewer than 17 times in the past week alone. “You can’t even walk down the street in Los Angeles without worrying that al-Qaeda animals—welcomed by the mayor, of course—are about to fly a jumbo jet directly into your family. Even New York can’t keep track of all the 9/11s that take place, sometimes more than once an hour, because the people who run these cities hate America as much as the terrorists do.” Trump added that he had not attended any of the thousands of new 9/11 memorial services, having attended one for the first, which was annoying enough.
The post Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
