America Just Sent Iran a Lovely Care Package of Bombs
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the US-Iran conflict, and let me tell you,…
Month: September 2026
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam
MEDINA, OH — In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President…
THE ORACLE SPEAKS: Pastor Darrell Scott joins Administration as tobacco health advisor
In a move that has left many scratching their heads, THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as Donald Trump, has announced…
Gamers can now milk EVE Online with bizarre cow controller stunt
Get ready for the most udderly ridiculous gaming event of the year: a real cow is taking the reins in…
ICE Agents Finally Get Body Cameras Because Who Needs Trust Anyway
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest development in the world of immigration enforcement. It seems that…
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism
HELL — The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if…
Gal Gadot Boards New AI Film Project
Gal Gadot is embracing her starring role in Doug Liman’s AI-powered movie Bitcoin, even if she fully admits to being…
RUSH Drummer Anika Nilles Gets TAMA Signature Snare Deal
RUSH drummer Anika Nilles has partnered with TAMA to produce a new signature snare. The instrument has been featured by…
AI Strategist Suggests Calling Data Centers ‘Computer Parties’
SAN FRANCISCO—Claiming that the small adjustment would be an effective way to bolster public support, artificial intelligence strategist Mark…
Lindsay Clancy Trial Ends In Predictable Gridlock Surprise
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Lindsay Clancy trial, and it seems like the jury is having…