The latest abomination to emerge from the depths of Hollywood’s desperation is a film adaptation of DC Comics’ Clayface, because what the world really needed was another superhero movie. The character, who has been reinvented more times than a reboot of a reboot, is a shapeshifter with a penchant for annoying Batman and, apparently, a penchant for melodrama. The new film, simply titled Clayface, is a horror movie that promises to deliver on the gore and nastiness that fans of the character have come to expect.
The story follows Matt Hagen, a Hollywood actor played by Tom Rhys Harries, who is on the rise to stardom until he pisses off the wrong people and ends up with his face slashed to ribbons. Because, you know, that’s exactly what happens when you cross a mobster in Gotham City. The film’s attempt to make Matt a sympathetic character by giving him a backstory as a downtrodden street kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls flat, mainly because Rhys Harries looks like he just stepped out of a GQ photoshoot, not a Gotham City alleyway.
As Matt’s face begins to melt off his skull like a Salvador Dali painting, he turns to a daring scientist, Dr. Caitlyn Corr, played by Naomi Ackie, who has invented a “nanocell” powered by artificial intelligence that can regenerate dead human tissues. Because, you know, that’s exactly what you want to do with a character like Clayface – give him a magic cure-all that will inevitably go horribly wrong. The film’s screenplay, written by Mike Flanagan and Hossein Amini, tries to make Matt a tragic character, but it’s hard to feel sorry for a guy who looks like he just stepped out of a boyband.
The Gore and the Glory
The film’s visuals are, at the very least, commendable. Director James Watkins does an admirable job of depicting Matt’s descent into madness and his transformation into the titular character. The special effects are gruesome and unsettling, and the cinematography is top-notch. However, the film’s reliance on gore and nastiness feels like a desperate attempt to distract from the lack of depth in the story. It’s like the filmmakers thought, “Hey, let’s just make it really gross and people will forget that the plot is paper-thin!”
The film’s attempt to balance horror and tragedy falls flat, mainly because the character of Matt Hagen is more of a caricature than a fully fleshed-out person. The film’s script tries to make him a sympathetic character, but it’s hard to feel sorry for a guy who is more concerned with his looks than with, you know, being a decent human being. The film’s message about the dangers of playing with forces beyond human control is lost in the mess of gore and melodrama.
The Never-Ending Cycle of Reboots and Remakes
It’s worth noting that the new DC Universe does not have a Batman, but it does have a Clayface. Because, you know, that’s exactly what the world needed – a Clayface movie without Batman. It’s like the filmmakers thought, “Hey, let’s just take a character who is inherently tied to Batman and make a movie about him without the Caped Crusader!” It’s a bold move, but it’s not like it’s going to pay off or anything.
In the end, Clayface is just another example of Hollywood’s desperation to cling to familiar IPs, even if it means stretching them to the point of absurdity. It’s like the studios are just rummaging through the vaults, looking for anything that can be repackaged and resold to the masses. Somewhere, a focus group is earning another bonus for telling the studios exactly what they want to hear. The Merchandising Department is probably already working on Clayface-themed merchandise, because what’s a movie without a few dozen tie-in products, right? And so the cycle continues, with Hollywood mistaking familiarity for originality, and the audience being left to pick up the pieces. Joy.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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