Ah, yes, CCP Games, those lovable scamps, are back at it again! 🤡 They’re dusting off the ol’ EVE universe for another spin, this time with EVE Frontier. And guess what, folks? It’s finally crawling out of its closed alpha/beta dungeon and into the “fully public” (we’ll see about that) arena with Founder Access: New Era on June 11, 2025. Mark your calendars, because you definitely won’t want to miss this train wreck! 🚂
To celebrate this momentous occasion (or perhaps to distract us from the dumpster fire that was EVE: Valkyrie 🔥), CCP has graced us with The Ancient Dark trailer. Prepare to be amazed… or maybe just mildly amused. It’s a sneak peek into the upcoming EVE Online spinoff, where the Riders are caught in a never-ending loop of death and rebirth. Sounds original, right? 🙄 They’re struggling to survive in a “harsh” galaxy. I mean, who isn’t these days? Apparently, their fate lies with the players, so get ready to micromanage their every move and probably still fail miserably.
So, in EVE Frontier, you get to be a Rider. A Rider with amnesia! How cliché! 😴 You wake up in a hostile galaxy with no memory or purpose. But fear not, the Keeper (whoever that is) sends you to the Frontier to “reignite and rebuild civilization.” Because that’s totally something one amnesiac Rider can accomplish all by themselves. Good luck with that! 👍 You’ll need to build shelters, establish tribes, and harvest resources. In other words, it’s just like every other survival game out there, but with a fresh coat of EVE paint. 🎨
But wait, there’s more! EVE Frontier boasts “Smart Assemble” for building bases in space. Because who needs architects when you have Smart Assemble? 🧠 And don’t forget “Tactical Combat” to defend your poorly constructed bases from enemy attacks. It’s tactical, because you click on things and they explode. 💣 Finally, there’s an “open economic sandbox” where you can establish your own currencies, markets, and trade assets. So basically, you can recreate the real world’s economic disasters in space. 💸
Starting June 11, you can dive into EVE Frontier through Founder Access: New Era. This means you get to pay extra for the privilege of being a beta tester! 💰 You can also share your gameplay footage, impressions, and experiences with the community. Because nothing says “fun” like watching someone else struggle through a buggy, unfinished game. 🎮 There’s also a seasonal progression system called Cycles. The first Cycle, Promised Lands, lets you earn Grace by completing missions and activities. You can even compete on the Cycle leaderboard alongside your Tribe members. Because who doesn’t love a good grind? 😫
But wait, there’s even MORE! CCP will be at the PC Gaming Show to give you a sneak peek of the gameplay. So get ready for some carefully curated demos and scripted presentations. 🎤 And if that’s not enough, they’ll also be live on Twitch on June 8. Tune in to watch them pretend that everything is working perfectly! 📺
If you’re still somehow eager to experience more of the EVE universe, you can purchase the Founder Access: New Era on June 11, 2025, for EVE Frontier on PC and Mac. Visit the Founder Access page to learn more about the tiers offered. Because who doesn’t love paying more for less? 🤡
In conclusion, EVE Frontier sounds like a typical cash-grab attempt from CCP. But hey, maybe it’ll be good! Or maybe it’ll be another disappointment. Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: it’ll be entertaining to watch either way. 😂
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
