In a recent chin-wag with Brazil’s Rádio Kiss FM 92.5, that dude Jeff Scott Soto – you know, the guy who warmed the mic for Yngwie Malmsteen back when dinosaurs roamed the earth on “Rising Force” and “Marching Out” – was quizzed about what life lessons he picked up from the Swedish guitar wizard that he still clings to today. Jeff, bless his heart, droned on about how his time with Yngwie taught him what NOT to do. Apparently, the management was a dumpster fire 🔥, and Jeff decided he wanted no part of that circus 🎪. So, he took those lessons and ran faster than Yngwie’s fingers across a fretboard, which is why he’s still kicking around, I guess. 🤷♂️
Jeff, ever the sage, continued to impart his wisdom, saying that he always tells young musicians to “stick with it.” Because, you know, rejection is just a stepping stone to eventual mediocrity. 🙄 But the real kicker? Learn the business, kids! Otherwise, you’ll end up selling a gazillion albums and still driving a rusty Pinto. 🚗💨 He warns of the shady ways people can screw you over, like hiding your face under a hat. So, get schooled on publishing copyrights and mechanical royalties, or you’re doomed! 📉
Jeff, in his infinite wisdom, declared that it’s called the “music business” for a reason. Groundbreaking stuff, really. 🤯 Music good, business bad. If you don’t learn the business, you’re screwed. Thanks, Captain Obvious! 🫡
Remember that time Jeff claimed Yngwie threatened to cancel a show because Jeff dared to show his face in the audience? 🤣 Yngwie, of course, called BS, saying Jeff was just trying to stay relevant. According to Yngwie, Jeff snuck in without paying and got the boot by security. The nerve! 😠 Yngwie accused Jeff of making up stories for attention. Ouch! 🤕
And let’s not forget the epic war of words from eight years ago when Yngwie claimed he “always wrote everything.” 🙄 Jeff, naturally, took offense, because, you know, ego. It’s like a bunch of toddlers fighting over who gets the last cookie. 🍪
Back in 2017, Jeff whined that it’s “false information” to suggest he contributed nothing to Yngwie’s early albums. He claims they co-wrote some songs, and he even “authored” some of them. ✍️ So, Yngwie saying he wrote every lyric and melody is just a big, fat lie! Jeff chalks it up to anger or throwaway conversations. Poor Jeff, always the victim. 🥺
Jeff, ever the psychologist, suggested that Yngwie’s memory might be failing him. Maybe all those years of shredding have fried his brain. 🧠🔥 Jeff admits that Yngwie has written a lot of his own stuff over the years, but maybe he’s just forgotten the albums where he wasn’t doing it all. Selective memory, folks! 🧠
Jeff went on to say that Joe Lynn Turner was a “very strong collaborator” on the “Odyssey” album, as was he. But then again, Jeff also admits that he didn’t write a single word or melody on “I Am A Viking.” 🤷♂️ So, it’s all a matter of perspective, I guess. Maybe Yngwie just doesn’t want to talk about Jeff because he’s got a bad taste in his mouth. 🤮 Who knows? 🤔
After Yngwie’s original interview, several other former singers jumped into the fray, with Joe Lynn Turner calling Yngwie’s statements “the rantings of a megalomaniac desperately trying to justify his own insecurity.” 🔥🔥🔥 Burn! 🔥🔥🔥 Yngwie’s management team fired back, accusing the vocalists of “mudslinging and insults” and calling their words “classless” and “disgraceful.” 🙄 Oh, the drama! 🎭
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
