In a move that has Democrats clutching their soy lattes, President Donald J. Trump is rolling out a $12 billion farm aid package — or as CNN calls it, “Why Won’t The Peasants Just Move To Brooklyn And Code?” This “Farmer Bridge Assistance” plan is basically MAGA duct tape over the gaping crater Joe Biden blew in rural America.
About $11 billion goes straight to crop farmers — corn, cotton, soybeans, wheat, rice, sorghum, potatoes — you know, the people who actually feed the country instead of feeding diversity task forces. The rest covers everyone the bureaucrats forgot while they were busy writing their NPR talking points.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins are hosting a White House roundtable, while CNN staffers furiously Google the difference between corn and wheat. Real farmers will be there too, not the “urban farming collective” people who grow three tomatoes in a milk crate and vote Democrat.
Rollins politely explained the obvious: it wasn’t Trump’s America First tariffs that hurt farmers — it was years of Biden-era globalist groveling and climate cult regulation. Trump opened markets with trade deals; Biden opened the door for China to buy from Brazil and Argentina while lecturing our farmers about “sustainability.”
So now Trump’s giving “bridge payments” while we crawl out of the Biden rubble and into what he calls a “golden age for rural America.” Translation: less farming for government checks, more farming to sell American food to the whole world — instead of letting the CCP and Davos crowd run the dinner table.
Even the “we want trade not aid” crowd is getting what they asked for: China’s back buying US soybeans after Trump squeezed them like a cheap balloon. Uncertainty? Sure. But better patriotic uncertainty under Trump than guaranteed decline under Democrats whose only farm policy is: import food, export jobs, print slogans.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
