Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. An FBI agent, Patrick Steven Yaroch, allegedly stole over $900,000 in cryptocurrency from accounts the agency was monitoring. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. According to court records, Yaroch became frustrated with the government’s inaction over the misuse of crypto accounts and decided to take matters into his own hands. He used his internal agency access to transfer the crypto holdings to his personal account. Bless their hearts, it seems like Yaroch thought he was some kind of crypto vigilante.
The story gets even more interesting. Yaroch was part of the FBI’s national security investigative squad focused on an “adversarial nation” and came across the crypto holdings during his work. He apparently grew frustrated when he couldn’t do more to disrupt the unnamed person’s use of the crypto accounts. So, he took the crypto for himself. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
The FBI fired Yaroch, and he was arrested last week. A criminal complaint lists charges against him related to the interstate transport of stolen goods and the receipt of stolen goods. I’m not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that an FBI agent stole cryptocurrency or that he got caught. An attorney for Yaroch was not listed in court records, and CNN has contacted an email associated with Yaroch for comment. I’m sure he’ll have a lot to say for himself.
The FBI gathers a lot of intelligence on cryptocurrency accounts allegedly used by criminal and state actors in Russia, China, and elsewhere. But when and how to act on those accounts is often decided on a case-by-case basis. It’s a complex issue, and I’m sure the FBI has its hands full trying to keep up with all the crypto activity. The affidavit also reflects how cryptocurrencies are changing criminal investigations. It’s a whole new world out there, folks.
The month before his arrest, Yaroch allegedly asked for advice on how to leave the USA and become a resident or citizen of an EU country. He even asked for suggestions on what to do with a bucket of money, around $1 million. The response he got was catered to his age and lifestyle, suggesting a slower-living vineyard/agricultural lifestyle in places like Cilento or Portugal’s Dão region. I guess that’s one way to plan for retirement.
The FBI spokesperson said that as soon as they became aware of the allegations, they took action and began an investigation. They hold their employees to the highest ethical standards, and this conduct is not tolerated at the FBI. I’m sure they’re not happy about the whole situation. The affidavit includes emotional details gathered from interviews with Yaroch and a former colleague, in which Yaroch confided. He even told FBI agents, “I f—d up,” when they interviewed him at his house last month.
In conclusion, the story of Patrick Steven Yaroch is a wild one. It’s a tale of frustration, cryptocurrency, and a whole lot of poor decision-making. I’m sure the FBI will be reviewing their internal policies to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. And as for Yaroch, well, let’s just say he won’t be winning any awards for “FBI Agent of the Year” anytime soon. It’s a funny thing, folks, when you think you’re above the law, but really, you’re just above your pay grade.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
