Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of this wild story. Apparently, the Justice Department is saying that its senior leadership had nothing to do with the decision to charge former FBI Director James Comey with a crime. What was the crime, you ask? Well, it seems Comey posted a picture of seashells arranged to spell out “8647” on social media in 2025. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of beachy numerology, right? But, according to prosecutors, this post was actually a threat against President Donald Trump’s life. Yeah, because nothing says “threat” like a bunch of seashells on Instagram.
The picture, which has since been deleted, allegedly drew scrutiny because the number 86 can refer to getting rid of something, and Trump is the 47th president. Comey, on the other hand, claims he didn’t realize some folks associate those numbers with violence. I’m no expert, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to me. I mean, I’ve seen some pretty weird things on social media, but seashells as a threat? That’s a new one.
The Justice Department is trying to distance Attorney General Todd Blanche from the decision-making process, saying it was actually Ellis Boyle, the US attorney in Eastern North Carolina, who was behind the indictment. They’re hoping to convince a judge that Comey wasn’t targeted vindictively by prosecutors because of the president’s animus toward him. Yeah, good luck with that. It’s not like the Justice Department has a history of, you know, doing the president’s bidding or anything.
Prosecutors wrote in a court filing that “Comey attempts to portray the decision to charge him as resulting from a directive by the President and/or the Attorney General. That is simply false.” They claim that Boyle made the decision without any influence from the Attorney General or the President. I’m sure that’s exactly how it went down. I mean, who needs evidence when you have a good story, right?
The Justice Department says that Boyle told the attorney general about the planned indictment the day before a grand jury approved it. They also claim that Boyle didn’t discuss the charging decision with the Attorney General until the day before presenting it to the grand jury. Yeah, because that’s not suspicious at all. It’s not like they were trying to cover their tracks or anything.
This whole thing is just getting more and more ridiculous. I mean, we’ve got a former FBI director being charged with a crime for posting a picture of seashells on social media. It’s like something out of a bad joke. And the Justice Department is trying to convince us that it’s all just a big coincidence. Yeah, sure. I’m buying it. Not.
In the end, it’s just another day in the wild world of American politics. You’ve got your seashells, your presidents, and your attorneys general all mixed up in a big ol’ bowl of drama. And I’m just over here, sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of it all. Well, I guess that’s just the way the seashells crumble, folks. 🙄
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
