Oh boy, are you guys ready for some totally-not-desperate attempts to cling to relevance? 🤣 Because I’ve got a doozy for you: KISS is back in the news, and this time it’s not just a rehashing of their greatest hits (although, let’s be real, that’s probably coming too). Nope, this time it’s about Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at an Angels game. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch two 70-year-old men toss a baseball around? 🎟️ It’s not like they have better things to do, like, say, actually making music or something.
So, apparently, this whole thing went down on August 15, 2026, at Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California. Because, you know, that’s exactly what the world was missing: more KISS. I mean, it’s not like they’ve been touring non-stop for the past decade or anything (oh wait, they have). Anyway, the band’s music played between innings, because what’s a baseball game without a little “Rock and Roll All Nite” to get the crowd going? And, of course, the night ended with a fireworks show, because KISS loves pyrotechnics almost as much as they love themselves.
The Nostalgia Train
But wait, it gets better! This whole ordeal was supposedly a nod to their iconic 1976 show at Anaheim Stadium, which was attended by a whopping 40,000 fans. I mean, who wouldn’t want to relive the magic of a bygone era? It’s not like the band has been trying to recapture that same energy for the past 40 years or anything (oh wait, they have). And, as a special treat, they’ve released a newly mixed version of that concert, titled “Kiss Destroys Anaheim ’76”. Because, you know, the world was just missing a remixed version of a 40-year-old concert.
But hey, at least they’re consistent, right? I mean, Gene Simmons has been throwing out first pitches like they’re going out of style. He did it back in 2011 at a Dodgers game, and again in 2018 at Wrigley Field. And, of course, Paul Stanley and Gene were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame back in 2014, because that’s not a participation trophy or anything. And, in a shocking turn of events, KISS received the Kennedy Center Honors in December 2025. I mean, who wouldn’t want to honor a band that’s been phoning it in for decades?
The End of the Road (Finally)
But, in all seriousness, KISS did play their final shows ever in December 2023 at Madison Square Garden. And, because they love their fans (and by “fans”, I mean their accountants), they even streamed the last show live on pay-per-view. Because, you know, what’s a farewell tour without a healthy dose of greed? And, as a final middle finger to their fans, they sold their entire music catalog, likeness, and brand name to some Swedish company called Pophouse Entertainment. Because, you know, that’s not a desperate cry for relevance or anything.
So, to sum it all up, KISS is still a thing, and they’re still trying to cling to their fading glory days. But hey, at least they’re consistent, right? And, who knows, maybe their next move will be a KISS-themed amusement park, complete with a “Rock and Roll All Nite” rollercoaster and a “Detroit Rock City” dark ride. 🎠 Because, at this point, why not? 🤣
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
