“Destination: The Place You’ll Probably Regret Going, But Hey, At Least You Can Post About It 🤪.”
OMG, Crematory’s STILL at it? 👴💀 I thought these guys were, like, actually cremated back in the 90s! Apparently, they’ve…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷♀️🍊
Blackie Lawless, the lyrical genius behind such profound works as “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” (a song so subtly nuanced…
Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰
🎸💰 Oh, the audacity! Gene Simmons, the Demon of… charging exorbitant prices, is back at it again! Apparently, being a…
Pet Shop Boys Butcher Tina Turner’s “Hot For You Baby” into a Synth-Pop Sausage 🌭🎶👵
OMG! 😱 Pet Shop Boys, those synth-pop grandpas 👴👵, have allegedly “remixed” a “lost” Tina Turner track, *Hot For You…
Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥
🤣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…
Gary Kemp Talks About “This Destination” (Yeah, We Know You’re Googling It 🙄)
So, Gary Kemp, bless his cotton socks, has a new album out. 🙄 Apparently, it’s called *This Destination*. Because, you…
Oh, great, so the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is scraping the bottom of the barrel again, inducting Bad Company and Soundgarden 🙄🎸🥁👴
🚨 EMERGENCY! 🚨 The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, bless its cotton socks, has announced its 2025 inductees. Hold…
Hammett and Trujillo Cover Rush🎸: Somewhere, Neil Peart Just Did a Perfect Drum Fill in the Afterlife👴
OMG! 🙄 You guys are NOT gonna BELIEVE what those two dudes from METALLICA, Robert “I Used to be in…
Joey Jordison’s family wants YOUR money 💰 to unleash some VIMIC tunes nobody asked for 🤷♀️, so dig deep, metalheads! 🤘
Okay, so, like, remember Joey Jordison? The dude who got the boot from Slipknot because…reasons? 🤔 Well, his family, bless…
Shinedown promises more ear-splitting “music” before the year mercifully ends 🙄🎸🔥
OH. MY. GAWD. 😱 Shinedown, those purveyors of fine adult contemporary rock (with *just* enough edge to make your mom…