Study: 93% Of Individuals With One Earbud In Receiving Top-Secret Commands From HQ
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Despite the risks to national security from revealing such confidential information, the Pew Research Center released a study…
Author: Finn McFrame
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Harvard Announces Free Tuition For Families Making Under $200,000
Read MoreThe OnionHarvard announced that undergraduate tuition will be free for students of families who make annual incomes of $200,000…
Jordan Peterson Explains The Deep Meaning Behind 9 Famous Song Lyrics
Sometimes song lyrics can be confusing. So we called up psychologist and beauty expert Jordan Peterson and asked him to…
DoorDash To Offer $2.99 Upgrade Where Driver Will Pre-Pray For Your Food
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — One of the country’s most popular meal delivery services made a move to boost its market…
ODT: What Are You Most Excited To Ask God?
The Bee staff got to talking this morning about what questions we are most excited to ask God when we…
Like Caesar Holding Thumb Over Bloody Colosseum, Man Writes Scathing One-Star Review Of Toaster Oven
ROCHESTER, NY — Local man Gary Simpson channeled all the rage and power of Caesar passing judgment in the Colosseum…
Democrats Say Fire At Tesla Facility Likely Caused By Climate Change
LAS VEGAS, NV — After several Tesla vehicles suddenly exploded into flames at a Las Vegas facility, Democrats blamed climate…
Trump Invokes Law Used To Justify Japanese Internment Camps
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump invoked the Alien Enemies Act for the first time since it was used to intern…
Frightened Child Sits Atop Stairs Watching Parents Argue About Ending Of ‘Sopranos’
Read MoreThe OnionST. CHARLES, MO—Covering her ears as her father screamed at her mother about the overuse of suggestive POV…
Jeremy Steps Down As CEO At Daily Wire, Founds New Company ‘Jeremy’s Daily Wire’
NASHVILLE, TN — One of conservative media’s most prominent figures has announced that he will be stepping down as CEO…