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Category: Babylon Bee

Wellness Check Called In On Elon Musk After He Doesn’t Post On X For Over 17 Minutes
Babylon Bee

Wellness Check Called In On Elon Musk After He Doesn’t Post On X For Over 17 Minutes

December 13, 2024

BOCA CHICA, TX — Friends called police and requested to have officers conduct a wellness check on Elon Musk today…

By 2035, All California Vehicles To Be Replaced By Little Tikes Cozy Coupes
Babylon Bee

By 2035, All California Vehicles To Be Replaced By Little Tikes Cozy Coupes

December 13, 2024

SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom has adopted a plan set forth by the California Air Resources Board to…

Killjoy Wife Tells Husband He Can’t Dress As Tom Bombadil For Church Every Sunday
Babylon Bee

Killjoy Wife Tells Husband He Can’t Dress As Tom Bombadil For Church Every Sunday

December 13, 2024

MYSTIC, CT — Local churchgoer Clive Richmond, known for his habit of wearing a blue jacket, tall feathered hat, and…

10 Movies You Didn’t Know Were Actually Christmas Movies
Babylon Bee

10 Movies You Didn’t Know Were Actually Christmas Movies

December 12, 2024

Everyone loves a good Christmas movie, as long as you’re not a sociopath with an ice-cold heart, that is. But…

Assassin Luigi Mangione Takes Lead In 2028 Democratic Primary Polls
Babylon Bee

Assassin Luigi Mangione Takes Lead In 2028 Democratic Primary Polls

December 12, 2024

U.S. — Despite currently being in custody and charged with the murder of a health insurance company CEO, alleged assassin…

After Weeks Of Research, Husband Buys Wrong Christmas Gift For Wife
Babylon Bee

After Weeks Of Research, Husband Buys Wrong Christmas Gift For Wife

December 12, 2024

ANN ARBOR, MI — After weeks of intense research and deliberation among colleagues, local husband Felix Mayweather bought the wrong…

Liberals Sadly Wish Each Other ‘Happy Holidays’ For Last Time Before Trump Makes It Punishable By Death
Babylon Bee

Liberals Sadly Wish Each Other ‘Happy Holidays’ For Last Time Before Trump Makes It Punishable By Death

December 12, 2024

U.S. — Liberals are putting extra effort into their secular holiday plans this year, taking the time to stop and…

Drones Revealed To Be Iranian After Closer Inspection
Babylon Bee

Drones Revealed To Be Iranian After Closer Inspection

December 11, 2024

NEWARK, NJ — A pressing mystery that had puzzled government officials and the general public alike was solved today, as…

Are You Old? Know The Signs
Babylon Bee

Are You Old? Know The Signs

December 11, 2024

As one generation gives way to the next, you may find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering, “Hey, am…

Brett Cooper Leaves Daily Wire, Causing Andrew Klavan To Regain Title Of Daily Wire’s Most Attractive Host
Babylon Bee

Brett Cooper Leaves Daily Wire, Causing Andrew Klavan To Regain Title Of Daily Wire’s Most Attractive Host

December 11, 2024

NASHVILLE, TN — Andrew Klavan has reclaimed his title of Most Attractive Daily Wire Host in the wake of Brett…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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