Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: California

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State
Elephant Reads CNN

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the irony! Elon Musk, the supposed right-wing messiah, is being persecuted by none other than Letitia James, that champion…

California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out
Elephant Reads CNN

California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

California is going full-blown Communist! Now they want to unmask our brave ICE officers, probably so the Antifa mob can…

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Although DEATH is worshipped as, like, the ONLY death metal band that ever mattered, the Florida-based posers didn’t drop “Scream…

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Another day, another Obama-appointed judge (quelle surprise!) kneecapping President Trump’s efforts to MAGA. This time, Judge Denise Casper—probably a secret…

Los Angeles Protests: Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter
Elephant Reads CNN

Los Angeles Protests: Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Another week, another excuse for CNN to push their open-border agenda! “Immigration protests” – more like a coordinated invasion, funded…

CNN: Man trips, blames Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Man trips, blames Trump

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another Democrat meltdown! CNN is clutching its pearls because Trump’s DOJ is finally holding these lawless liberals accountable.…

US Senator Gets Kicked Out of DHS Event for Asking Too Many Smart Questions, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

US Senator Gets Kicked Out of DHS Event for Asking Too Many Smart Questions, Apparently

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another snowflake meltdown! Sen. Alex Padilla, a California Democrat, claims he was “forcibly removed” from a Homeland Security…

Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Gets Two Billion Views: Are You Really That Bored
Breaking, Music News

Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Gets Two Billion Views: Are You Really That Bored

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Did you hear?! NIRVANA’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” music video FINALLY crawled its way to two billion views…

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal
Elephant Reads CNN

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? $200,000 worth of American muscle, GONE! Stolen from a dealership in Thomaston, Georgia. You know…

Behold: BLACK FLAG’s New Lineup Stumbles Through Their First Live Gig
Breaking, Music News

Behold: BLACK FLAG’s New Lineup Stumbles Through Their First Live Gig

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

BLACK FLAG, the legendary punk band (or what’s left of it), graced the stage of Mixtape 5 in Sofia, Bulgaria,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 5 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,251)
  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,249)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,198)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,060)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (863)

Latest posts

  • Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building
  • Musk’s X Marks the Spot for Epic Fail Branding
  • Saint Augustine Wine Walk: Because Regular Walking Is Just Too Sober
  • Hamas Claims Responsibility For NYC Mayoral Primary
  • Rudy and Friends Join Homeland Security: What Could Possibly Go Wrong

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}