In the world of Britpop reunions, where egos clash and tambourines fly, a new drama has emerged: Pete Doherty, former Libertines frontman and notorious bad boy, has offered to tour with the recently reunited Oasis for free. His only condition? «Tickets for my family,» Doherty pleaded. «Or just a ten-minute acoustic slot before the doors open. I’ll even sweep up after.»
Naturally, the Gallagher brothers – known for their sibling feuds and razor-sharp wit – didn’t take this offer lightly. In fact, they barely took it at all. «Pete Doherty?» Noel Gallagher reportedly asked when told about the offer. «Is that the lad who used to hang out with Amy Winehouse or is he the one who fell out of a tree on Celebrity Big Brother?» When shown a recent picture of Doherty, Noel was said to mutter, «Looks like a plumber from Stockport after a bender.»
Liam, never one to miss an opportunity to troll, chimed in with his usual diplomatic flair: «If we let every geezer who’s done a dodgy gig at a pub join the tour, we’d need a fleet of buses. Respect to the man, but I’m not sharing my stage with someone who’d swap tickets for a pint of snakebite and a packet of crisps.»
Oasis fans, too, are divided on the matter. On one hand, there’s the nostalgic allure of Britpop camaraderie – on the other, the fear that Doherty might turn the stage into his own personal open bar. Social media lit up with reactions: «Let him in! The man’s a living legend,» one fan tweeted, while another quipped, «Doherty joining Oasis is like inviting your weird uncle to Christmas dinner: it’s all laughs until he passes out on the couch.»
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
