Elizabeth Warren Asks RFK Jr. How He Will Address Outbreak Of Smallpox From White Man’s Blankets
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heated exchange during Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s confirmation hearing before the Senate Committee on Finance,…
Day: January 29, 2025
Visitors Flock To Sniff Flower That Smells Like Rotting Corpse ready
Read MoreThe OnionA very rare and very stinky plant, known commonly as the corpse flower, drew long lines at the…
10 New Careers For Out-Of-Work Gender Surgeons
After Trump’s executive order that banned castrating kids, America’s gender surgeons have suddenly found themselves out of a job. Sad!…
No Matter How Many Chili Cook-Offs I Win, Everyone Still Sees Me As ‘That School Shooter’s Mom’
Read MoreThe OnionIn these scary and uncertain times, community is more important than ever. And nothing brings a community together…
Satan Renews Subscription To ‘Christianity Today’
HELL — Embattled magazine Christianity Today received some good news today, as it was revealed that Satan had renewed his…
Taxpayer-Funded Illegal Immigrant Gender Surgeon Having A Really Bad Week
CHICAGO, IL — After looking forward to having an exciting and fulfilling 2025, a local taxpayer-funded illegal immigrant gender surgeon…
Trump Announces Plan To Make California A Part Of The U.S.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Adding to a list of bold initiatives that had included speculative goals to annex Greenland and absorb…
New Death Row Fast Pass Allows Convicts To Skip Execution Line
Read MoreThe OnionMONTGOMERY, AL—Calling it a “revolutionary way” to experience the full wrath of the carceral state, the Alabama Department…
🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»
The editorial board of Jackal.Today, the beacon of satirical journalism, has staged an indefinite protest until February 3. But this…