Study Finds Every Man’s Deepest Desire Is A Giant Map With Tanks And Soldiers On It That They Can Push Around With Sticks
U.S. — After surveying tens of thousands of men, researchers at the University of Boston have concluded that the deepest…
Day: January 8, 2025
Newsom Assures Wildfire Victims He Is Diverting Millions Of Dollars To Emergency DEI Initiatives
LOS ANGELES, CA — As the world looked on in shock while multiple wildfires ravaged areas outside of Los Angeles,…
New Check Engine Light For Women Will Show Ryan Gosling’s Face So They’ll Actually Pay Attention To It
DETROIT, MI — As part of a new campaign to make cars safer for women, General Motors unveiled an innovative…
🤯 Dull Shirts’ Epic Sale: Heavy Metal Tees, 25% Off, and Zero Regrets!
Calling all heavy metal fans and lovers of sarcastic fashion: «Dull Shirts» has just declared war on boring outfits! If…
‘This Is Worse Than The Holocaust!’ Shouts Sunny Hostin After Barista Forgets To Put Cream In Her Coffee
MANHATTAN, NY — Sonny Hostin declared today that she had experienced “the Holocaust times ten” after the barista forgot to…
Mike Johnson Calls LEGO To Order Another Set Of Hair
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With his old hair starting to wear out, House Speaker Mike Johnson called the LEGO company to…
U.S. Healthcare System By The Numbers
Read MoreThe OnionCompared to similar high-income nations, Americans spend twice as much on healthcare, yet have lower life expectancies and…