📢Breaking: SOAD’s New Album Includes Dog Barks, Existential Screams, and … Mustache ASMR?!
Legendary rock band System of a Down has officially confirmed their long-awaited new album, but there’s a twist: 5 out…
Day: February 8, 2025
Excited Couple Closes Escrow On Dozen Eggs
OLYMPIA, WA — After a lengthy negotiation process, local couple Chris and Haven Whitmer celebrated finally closing escrow on a…
Prince Harry Asks ICE To Deport Him To Guantanamo Bay For Some Peace And Quiet
U.S. — Prince Harry has begged for ICE to please deport him to Guantanamo Bay, offering to commit whatever crime…
Nation Asks If That Security Guy Can Please Just Follow Congress Around And Keep Them From Doing Anything Ever
U.S. — Americans are begging the now-famous security guard who stood up to screeching Democrats to please always follow Congress…