Babylon Bee Announces $36,000/Month Pro Subscription For USAID-Funded Government Agencies
U.S. — The Babylon Bee is proud to announce a special new membership option for USAID-funded government agencies which will…
Day: February 5, 2025
Department Of Interior Bans Unlikely Animal Friendships
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Fulfilling a campaign promise made by President Donald Trump, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Wednesday that…
Liberals Outraged As Trump Says Men Can’t Punch Women In The Face For Sport
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Liberals expressed outrage today after President Trump signed an executive order this afternoon that men cannot punch…
Sad: With USAID Shut Down, This Ecuadorian Child May Never Know What Gender He Is
ECUADOR — In a horrific tragedy caused by USAID’s termination, 8-year-old Antonio Gonzalez of Ecuador may never have a chance…
Quiz: Can You Guess Which Of These Things USAID Actually Funded And Which Ones We Made Up?
News of what USAID had been spending money on has caused quite a stir online. But there’s still a lot…
Roger Goodell Brushes Off Concerns About Biased Officiating
NEW ORLEANS, LA — As festivities ramped up in preparation for Super Bowl LIX this Sunday, National Football League Commissioner…
New White Noise Machine Helps Men Sleep By Playing Soothing Sounds Of An M-1 Garand
U.S. — Thousands of men across the United States are reporting better sleep after trying a new white noise machine…
🎸🦇 Animal Rights Activists Rage as Ozzy Osbourne Plans to Devour Bats On Stage! 🔥🐾
BIRMINGHAM, UK — A legendary concert or an absolute madhouse? The original lineup of Black Sabbath — Ozzy Osbourne, Tony…
Study Finds Human Brain Contains Entire Spoon’s Worth Of Nanoplastics
Read MoreThe OnionAccording to a new study, cognitively normal human brain samples collected at autopsy in early 2024 contained more…
Sex Ed Teacher Demonstrates How To Drive Truck Into Abortion Clinic
Read MoreThe OnionCLEARWATER, FL—Urging the middle school class to pay attention while he described the intimate process of revving the…