4-Year-Old Calls 911 To Report Mom For Eating His Ice Cream
Read MoreThe OnionA 4-year-old Wisconsin boy called 911 to report that his mom was eating his ice cream, saying she…
Month: March 2025
Federal Judge Orders Price Of Eggs To Go Back Up
U.S. — Egg prices are finally on the decline for the first time since 2022, but one federal judge has…
Nintendo Charged With Crimes Against Humanity For Neglecting To Port ‘Wind Waker’ To The Switch
THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS — In a stunning development, the International Criminal Court (ICC) has reportedly filed charges against Nintendo Co.,…
Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame,…
CIA Files Reveal JFK Was Killed By Seed Oils
U.S. — In a long-awaited declassification of government documents related to one of the most monumental events in American history,…
Disney Wondering If It’s Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey
U.S. — Walt Disney Studios is running damage control ahead of its live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven…
Courtney Love Withdraws UK Citizenship Application After Learning Britain Is the 51st U.S. State😡
LONDON 🏰 — In a shocking (but not really) announcement, legendary rocker 🎸 Courtney Love has withdrawn her UK citizenship…
Basic Woman’s Entire Personality Revolves Around Things She Enjoys
Read MoreThe OnionNORFOLK, VA—Rolling their eyes at her mindless embrace of that which brings her happiness in life, sources confirmed…
JD Vance Reminded Caddies Not Allowed In Clubhouse
Read MoreThe OnionWEST PALM BEACH, FL—Finding himself stopped upon entering a building at the Trump International Golf Club, Vice President…
🎥 Biden, the Button, and Chaos: Cloverfield 2 Will Surprise Everyone! 🔴
Our tireless insiders, armed with magnifying glasses and spy gadgets, have finally shed light on the closely guarded plot of…