Search And Rescue Team Responds To Call From Injured Hiker Lost Inside Local IKEA
DRAPER, UT — A search and rescue team was called up to locate a missing hiker who was last seen…
Month: March 2025
Germany Commits To 100% Electric Vehicle Terror Attacks By 2035
BERLIN — In a plan to deal with what many believe to be its most urgent public safety issue, Germany…
Trump’s Canadian Tariffs Expected To Have Devastating Impact On The Curling Broom Industry
WORLD — With new trade policies officially going into effect, officials warned Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that Donald Trump’s Canadian…
Trump Orders Zelenskyy Be Sent To Bed Without His Supper To Think About What He’s Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another embarrassing scolding from U.S. leadership to Ukraine, President Donald Trump ordered President Volodymyr Zelenskyy…
NRA Gives Dead Schoolchildren ‘F’ Rating
Read MoreThe OnionFAIRFAX, VA—Calling the young students “the true enemy of gun rights,” the National Rifle Association reportedly issued an…
🎭 Anora won five Oscars: but that’s a film no one saw except the Academy? 🤔
Sean Baker’s film Anora became the surprise champion of the Oscars, sweeping five major awards. But there’s just one tiny…
Weezer Voted ‘Most Just OK’ Band Of All Time
U.S. — Alternative rock band Weezer has been dubbed the “Most Just OK” band of all time following a vote…
Pete Hegseth Deploys 3,000 U.S. Troops On Beer Run
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Declaring the utter lack of alcohol in the Pentagon kitchen to be a “national emergency,” Defense Secretary Pete…
Trump Wants To Pardon Pete Rose: Here Are 10 Other Sports Pardons Trump Is Considering
Trump announced his intention to pardon the late Pete Rose, a ball player who was disqualified from the Baseball Hall…
Woman Contaminates Grocery Store Food With Urine For Years
Read MoreThe OnionA New Hampshire woman was arrested after several years of allegedly urinating on items at a food co-op…