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Month: April 2025

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊
Breaking

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Blackie Lawless, the lyrical genius behind such profound works as “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” (a song so subtly nuanced…

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰
Breaking

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

🎸💰 Oh, the audacity! Gene Simmons, the Demon of… charging exorbitant prices, is back at it again! Apparently, being a…

Woman Reminds Self Not To Catastrophize After Spotting 4 Skeletal Horsemen On Horizon
The Onion

Woman Reminds Self Not To Catastrophize After Spotting 4 Skeletal Horsemen On Horizon

FinnApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionLOWELL, MA—Doing her best to follow her therapist’s advice for dealing with stressful situations, area woman Holly Debling…

Katy Perry’s “Lifetimes” Tour: Did Someone Replace Her Mic with a Kazoo and Glue Her Feet to the Stage? 🎤🥴
Breaking

Katy Perry’s “Lifetimes” Tour: Did Someone Replace Her Mic with a Kazoo and Glue Her Feet to the Stage? 🎤🥴

Chuck B. BallsyApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Oh, honey, bless Katy Perry’s heart. 💖 It seems April is just *determined* to be her nemesis. First, she decides…

Game Con Canada 2025: Prepare to Empty Your Wallet and Lose to 12-Year-Olds in Sweaty eSports Tournaments! 🎮😭💰
Breaking

Game Con Canada 2025: Prepare to Empty Your Wallet and Lose to 12-Year-Olds in Sweaty eSports Tournaments! 🎮😭💰

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

ATTENTION, fellow basement dwellers and Dorito dust connoisseurs! 📢 Prepare yourselves, for Game Con Canada 2025 is looming, threatening to…

The Onion

FBI Claims Gavel, Black Gowns Prove Ties To MS-13 Gang

FinnApril 28, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Explaining that such items constituted a veritable uniform for the notorious criminal organization, FBI director Kash Patel claimed…

Rise of Rebellion Flops: Samurai RPG without DEI Crashes on Steam! 😂
Game Industry Shocked: Japanese Go Full Traditional, Ignore Woke Agenda! 🤯
Games News

Rise of Rebellion Flops: Samurai RPG without DEI Crashes on Steam! 😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

If you thought the Japanese game industry would just bend over for every Western trend, think again! On April 22,…

Women Shocked To Learn Pill Designed To Murder Babies Might Not Be Safe
Babylon Bee

Women Shocked To Learn Pill Designed To Murder Babies Might Not Be Safe

FinnApril 28, 2025

SEATTLE — Women across the country have been shocked to learn that mifepristone and misoprostol, pills designed to murder babies…

With No Pope to Oversee Them, Cardinals Stay Up All Night Playing Goldeneye And Building Pillow Forts
Babylon Bee

With No Pope to Oversee Them, Cardinals Stay Up All Night Playing Goldeneye And Building Pillow Forts

FinnApril 28, 2025

VATICAN CITY — With no pope to oversee them, the College of Cardinals has been staying up every night playing…

ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn
The Onion

ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn

FinnApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn appeared first on The Onion.  …

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