OMG! 😱 Can you believe it? It’s been a whole TWO DECADES since the Scissor Sisters graced (or, depending on your taste, assaulted) our ears with their, ahem, “unique” brand of pop! To celebrate this momentous occasion, some record label executive with questionable taste decided to unleash a “special edition” of their debut LP, complete with seven previously unreleased tracks! Prepare yourselves for audio artifacts unearthed from the depths of the recording studio, probably rejected for good reason. 🤪
So, apparently, the Scissor Sisters are still a thing. I mean, good for them, I guess? Someone, somewhere, must still be listening to their, uh, *music*. To commemorate the 20th anniversary of their self-titled debut album (which, allegedly, was the UK’s best-selling album of 2004 – WHAT?!), they’re releasing a special deluxe edition. Because who wouldn’t want MORE Scissor Sisters in their lives? 🙄
This “iconic” album (their words, not mine) apparently spawned hit singles like *Laura*, *Comfortably Numb* (a Pink Floyd cover, because originality is overrated), *Take Your Mama*, *Mary*, and the unforgettable *Filthy / Gorgeous*. This expanded edition is brimming with B-sides and rarities, including seven previously unreleased tracks that were probably locked away in a vault for a very good reason. 🤫
Brace yourselves for sonic gems like *Step Aside For The Man*, *Night Of The Comet*, and *Magnifique*. I’m sure these tracks will be absolutely… something. The 20th Anniversary 3CD set also includes an updated booklet with “additional imagery” (probably more questionable fashion choices) and liner notes (written by someone who clearly got paid a lot to say nice things), plus a bonus disc of remixes. Because who wouldn’t want to hear *Take Your Mama* remixed by Hot Chip? Seriously, who asked for this? 🤷♀️
And because one picture is never enough, here’s another one of the album cover. Just bask in its… glory.
Apparently, *Scissor Sisters* was the best-selling album in the UK of 2004, selling nearly 4 million copies worldwide. I’m not sure what’s more shocking: that this album sold so many copies, or that the UK has such terrible taste in music. 🤮
It’s ranked as the 20th biggest-selling album of the 21st century in the UK, and the 35th biggest-selling album of all time. I’m starting to think the British public needs a serious intervention. The album went 9 x Platinum in the UK and won three BRIT Awards in 2005. I’m convinced the judges were drunk. 🥂
And if you’re still not convinced that this album is the greatest thing since sliced bread (it’s not), it has over 300 million streams to date. I’m sure most of those streams were accidental. 🎧
Here’s the tracklisting for the 2LP and 3CD sets. Prepare for an overload of questionable song titles and even more questionable remixes.
**2LP**
*Side A*
Laura
Take Your Mama
Comfortably Numb (seriously, why?)
Mary
Lovers In The Backseat
*Side B*
Tits On The Radio (classy)
Filthy / Gorgeous
Music Is The Victim
Better Luck
It Can’t Come Quickly Enough
Return To Oz
*Side C*
A Message From Ms Matronic (I’m scared)
The Skins
Get It Get It
Available (For You)
Rock My Spot (Crevice Canyon)
Borrowed Time
Backwoods Discotheque, Pt. II
*Side D*
Electrobix
Step Aside for the Man
Magnifique
Night of the Comet
Take Me Out
**3CD**
*CD1*
Laura
Take Your Mama
Comfortably Numb
Mary
Lovers In The Backseat
Tits On The Radio
Filthy / Gorgeous
Music Is The Victim
Better Luck
It Can’t Come Quickly Enough
Return To Oz
A Message From Ms Matronic
The Skins
Get It Get It
*CD2*
Electrobix
Available (For You)
Step Aside for the Man
Night of the Comet
Magnifique
Rock My Spot (Crevice Canyon)
Destiny Every Day
Filthy/Gorgeous (Extended Version)
Bicycle of the Devil (WTF?)
Borrowed Time
Doctor (I’m Only Seeing Dark)
Forever Right now
Backwoods
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
