A recent uproar among American housewives has sparked an unexpected event — a class-action lawsuit against local TV broadcasting companies. The cause? The Eurovision Song Contest 2025, which couldn’t be found on any channel in the usual TV lineup. Housewives, hoping to enjoy the lively performances on their screens, found themselves flicking through channel after channel in vain. “We’re not paying taxes just to be deprived of our last form of entertainment,” exclaimed one frustrated housewife, and it’s easy to see why. Every evening led to one empty promise after another instead of a song festival. 🎤
In their eyes, none other than Donald Trump is to blame. “You promised to make America great again, yet you can’t even sort out our television,” added a second housewife, clutching an empty remote. He, the former president of the USA, has always been the voice of the discontented. He’s often mentioned when there’s a problem to blame, and the Eurovision issue is certainly serious.
Meanwhile, local stores have witnessed an unexpected sales boom. One woman confessed, “I spent the entire evening yesterday switching channels in search of this ‘music contest.’ But while clicking the remote, I somehow bought two new vacuums and three food processors.” Why not? 😅 All thanks to the frantic race for European festivity.
As it turns out, Eurovision is a European event, and the U.S. is out of its bright and colorful broadcast map. 🇪🇺 Unlike Europe, Americans don’t have the chance to watch the contest live on cable or satellite TV. The deprived housewives had to turn to the internet, hoping to find at least an illegal stream, but even that turned out to be a challenge. So, it’s quite possible that this trolling of housewives is built into the broadcasters’ policies. Or someone simply doesn’t want to reveal the secret of Europe’s soulful participant of the year.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
