OMG! 😱 Corabi, the dude who briefly replaced Vince Neil in Mötley Crüe (remember that? No? Exactly!), is now apparently channeling his inner Fogerty and Seger. Someone get this man a flannel shirt and a pickup truck, stat! 🤣
So, our boy Johnny C., who blessed us with such timeless bangers as “Cosi Bella (So Beautiful)” (yeah, I had to Google it too) and “Your Own Worst Enemy” (deep, man, REAL deep 🙄), is thinking about doing something *different*. Apparently, the heavy stuff is for The Dead Daisies (who?), and he wants to “experiment.” Because, you know, a dude who fronted Mötley Crüe for, like, five minutes is *totally* known for his experimental side. 🧪
He’s been listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival and Bob Seger. I mean, who hasn’t? Groundbreaking stuff, Corabi! Really pushing the envelope there, buddy. 👍 He says Seger was a “great storyteller, great songwriter.” Yeah, and my grandma makes a mean meatloaf. What’s your point? 🤷♂️
Apparently, he told his manager he wanted to do a “Bob Seger-type record.” His manager, bless his heart, was probably thinking, “Oh, God, please no. Just do another Crüe cover album.” But no, Corabi wants to “write.” ✍️ He’s gonna lock himself in a room with Marti Frederiksen (who?) and a bunch of other “buddies” in Nashville and churn out 10, 15, 20 songs. Then he’ll pick the best eight or 10. Quality over quantity, folks! Except, you know, probably not. 😬
He wants it to be “organic” and “very…” and then he trails off. Probably because he realized he had no idea what he was talking about. He misses the ’70s, that “eclectic, all-over-the-place, no-boxes type of shit.” Translation: He wants to make a record that sounds like a dumpster fire. 🔥
Let’s not forget, this is the guy who fronted Mötley Crüe on that one album that everyone pretends didn’t happen. You know, the one that was “critically acclaimed” (by whom? His mom?) but was a “commercial failure.” Ouch. 🤕 And then Nikki Sixx went on record saying Corabi “can’t write lyrics.” Savage! 🔪
But hey, at least he released a live album of that Crüe album. Because, you know, everyone was clamoring for that. 🙄 And he wrote an autobiography, because of course he did. It’s got stories about his “run-in with a serial killer.” Because nothing says rock ‘n’ roll like true crime! 🔪
So, there you have it. John Corabi, the forgotten Crüe frontman, is gonna “experiment” and make a record that sounds like Bob Seger threw up in a time machine. I, for one, can’t wait. NOT! 🤣 Please someone stop him! 🙏
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
