OMG! 😱 Some random “insider” (probably just a guy who likes pizza rolls and yelling at his monitor) says Resident Evil 9 MIGHT be announced at Summer Games Fest 2025! 🤯 You know, the one happening LATER THIS WEEK? Get hyped! Or, you know, don’t. Whatever. 🙄
So, Summer Game Fest 2025 is looming, and suddenly, a wild “reliable insider” appears! 🧙♂️ This “Dusk Golem” dude, who’s apparently famous for knowing things about Resident Evil (or at least pretending to), dropped a bomb: Resident Evil 9 might grace us with its presence! 😇 Capcom, being the sneaky ninjas they are, haven’t said a peep. 🤫 But hey, who needs official confirmation when you have “speculation” fueled by Doritos dust and desperation?
According to some website called Insider Gaming (sounds legit 👍), Dusk Golem tweeted he’s “95 per cent positive” about this. 💯 95 per cent! That’s, like, almost a guarantee! Except, wait for it… he hasn’t actually TALKED to anyone involved. 🤣 No confirmation. Just “buzz” and “rumblings.” So basically, he’s basing this on the same info your grandma gets from Facebook. 👵
Apparently, Dusk Golem’s “evidence” is that Capcom’s social media is…active? 🤳 OMG! They’re posting stuff! It MUST be Resident Evil 9! 🤪 He also thinks it’ll be open-world. Because, you know, EVERY game is open-world now. 🗺️ He’s also been throwing around release dates like confetti at a clown convention. 🤡
Dusk Golem, in his infinite wisdom, previously tweeted that Resident Evil 9 will “almost undoubtedly be revealed this year” and launch in 2026. 🤔 But he wasn’t sure if the reveal would be in fiscal year 2025 or 2026. 🗓️ Groundbreaking stuff, truly. He also claims the game’s been delayed twice already. 💀 So, you know, temper those expectations. Or don’t. I’m not your supervisor. 👮♀️
Let’s be real, Resident Evil 4 Remake was the last game. 🤡 Before that was Resident Evil Village, which was basically Resident Evil 4 with werewolves. 🐺 So, based on release dates, this guy thinks it’s time for another zombie romp. 🧟♂️ Maybe we’ll get a “small teaser” at Summer Games Fest 2025, with a release window in 2026 or 2027. Or maybe not! 🤷♀️ Take it with a grain of salt. Or a whole shaker. 🧂 Summer Games Fest on June 6th will either prove this guy right or expose him as the internet troll he probably is. 😈 Place your bets, folks! 🎲
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
