OMG! 🙄 Prepare for the most ✨basic✨ July 4th EVER! 🇺🇸 Cruise on the Avalon Yacht, because nothing says “I’m unique” like a boat party with 48+ other peeps! 🚢
Skyport Marina, July 4, 2025, 5:45 PM – 10:15 PM. Tickets from $185! 💸 Enjoy a 3-hour premium open bar (if you’re 21+), a dinner buffet, and music by NYC’s “top-rated” DJs. 🎧 So boujee! 💅

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤