Supreme Court Says “Nah, Kids Can’t Transition in Tennessee, LOL”
The Supreme Court, in a moment of sanity, upheld Tennessee’s ban on mutilating children in the name of “gender-affirming care.”…
Month: June 2025
Juneteenth 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Open (and More Importantly, What’s CLOSED, You Peasant)
Oh, goodie, another day off for the libs to celebrate victimhood! CNN reports that Americans will be “celebrating” Juneteenth, the…
DragonForce Extends Their Totally Rad (and Not at All Exhausting) 2025 North American Tour, Prepare to be DragonForced
Grammy-nominated (for participation trophies, probably) extreme power metal legends DRAGONFORCE (because who else would claim that title?) have announced MORE…
UBS Gets Hacked (Again!), Blames Some Random Provider
Another day, another cyberattack, and guess what? It’s those sneaky Swiss banks, UBS and Pictet, caught with their lederhosen down!…
Ethan Embry’s Career Hits Rock Bottom: Stars in ‘Alma and the Wolf’
Hollywood liberals are at it again, pushing their woke agenda with a “psychological thriller” set in the Pacific Northwest. You…
Passengers At Gate Saddened By Poor Frightened Plane Loose Inside Airport
Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Expressing concern that the small aircraft was going to accidentally hurt itself in its panic, passengers at O’Hare…
Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)
OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods,…
Donkey Kong’s Wild Ride: Pauline’s Along for the Banana Slamma & Digging Up Dirt in the Grand Underground
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Nintendo dropped the Donkey Kong Bananza Direct today, and it’s more bananas than a monkey…
British Doctor Arrested For Misgendering Baby He Just Murdered
LONDON — Local obstetrician Doctor Roger Davidson was arrested this morning after he allegedly misgendered the baby he just finished…
In The Building Live? More Like In The Toilet Live
OMG! In The Building Live in Concert! Prepare for a night you’ll pretend to remember! 🎤🎸 Witness live music🤪 with…