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Month: July 2025

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Homeland Security is about to unleash hell on the illegal immigrant hordes, thanks to President Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”! Secretary…

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs
Elephant Reads CNN

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! Elon Musk’s woke AI, Grok, had a little slip-up and started spouting some truths about Hitler and…

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse
Elephant Reads CNN

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time they’re across the pond, fawning over some ‘safe space’ for junkies…

Columbia University About to Grease Trump’s Palm with Millions to Get That Sweet, Sweet Federal Cash
Elephant Reads CNN

Columbia University About to Grease Trump’s Palm with Millions to Get That Sweet, Sweet Federal Cash

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Looks like President Trump is cleaning house, folks! Columbia University, that bastion of liberal indoctrination, is crawling back to the…

FILTER Dumps ‘All The Good’ Single From Upcoming ‘The Algorithm: Ultra Yawn’
Breaking, Music News

FILTER Dumps ‘All The Good’ Single From Upcoming ‘The Algorithm: Ultra Yawn’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

🤣OMG! Platinum-selling, (allegedly) post-industrial/alternative rock pioneers FILTER (who?) are gracing us with their remixed and remastered NEW album, “The Algorithm:…

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs
Breaking, Movie News

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs

FinnJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 James Gunn, the guy who brought you the cinematic masterpiece that is… *checks notes* …Guardians of…

Before the Menendez Bros and Juice – Billionaire Boys Club: The OG True Crime Obsession That Hooked America
Elephant Reads CNN

Before the Menendez Bros and Juice – Billionaire Boys Club: The OG True Crime Obsession That Hooked America

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, glorifying criminals! This time, it’s the “Billionaire Boys Club,” a bunch of rich kids…

FEMA Erased Camp Mystic Buildings from Flood Map Like a Bad Ex Before Expansion, Records Show (LOL) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Erased Camp Mystic Buildings from Flood Map Like a Bad Ex Before Expansion, Records Show (LOL) | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Another day, another liberal catastrophe! This time, it’s a “tragic” flood at some ritzy girls’ camp in Texas. You know,…

Witness the Unholy Alliance: Joey Belladonna of Anthrax Abandons Ship to Sing Journey’s ‘Separate Ways’ with DAUGHTRY in the Heart of Syracuse
Breaking

Witness the Unholy Alliance: Joey Belladonna of Anthrax Abandons Ship to Sing Journey’s ‘Separate Ways’ with DAUGHTRY in the Heart of Syracuse

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱 Did you hear? ANTHRAX’s (yes, THAT Anthrax, the thrash metal gods…or whatever) singer Joey Belladonna, bless his heart,…

Judas Priest Milks ‘Painkiller’ Anniversary in Poland, Because Originality is Overrated
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest Milks ‘Painkiller’ Anniversary in Poland, Because Originality is Overrated

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

JUDAS PRIEST, those lovable dinosaurs of heavy metal, graced the Atlas Arena in Łódź, Poland on Monday, July 7. Fan-filmed…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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