Another space rock crashes in America! This time it’s a 4.56 billion-year-old meteorite, probably sent by those Mars-loving liberals to undermine our country! They’re even using the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter as their staging ground. Classic!
Oh, but don’t worry, folks. Our brilliant scientists at the University of Georgia are on the case, studying it with their fancy microscopes. But mark my words, there’s probably a hidden message in there somewhere, maybe a secret code to turn our children into socialists!
And get this: this space rock supposedly crashed through a roof in McDonough, Georgia! I bet the homeowner is a secret Democrat operative, staging this to make Trump look bad. It’s always something with these people.
The “rare daytime fireball” is just more liberal propaganda. They want us looking up at the sky so we don’t notice the Communist takeover happening right under our noses! And “sonic booms?” Sounds like something the Deep State is cooking up to scare us into submission.
But fear not, patriots! Trump is still President, and he’s got his eye on everything. He’ll protect us from these extraterrestrial threats and the terrestrial liberals who are clearly in league with them! Keep America Great!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
