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Month: August 2025

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it
Elephant Reads CNN

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another Democrat governor whining about President Trump wanting to keep Americans safe! JB Pritzker, the rotund ruler of…

Gaza Hospital Go BOOM: Was It Aliens or Just Bad Luck
Elephant Reads CNN

Gaza Hospital Go BOOM: Was It Aliens or Just Bad Luck

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, boo-hoo, another “hospital” in Gaza got a little love from our brave Israeli allies. You know, the ones fighting…

Fact-Checking Trump On Voter Fraud
The Onion

Fact-Checking Trump On Voter Fraud

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump recently reiterated claims that the U.S. electoral system remains highly susceptible to voter fraud. The…

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB
Breaking, Games News

Intel Gamer Days 2025: Because Your Rig Needs More RGB

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

From Aug. 25 to Sept. 7, Intel Gamer Days is allegedly happening 🤣. It’s not just a sale—it’s a desperate…

Pokémon GO: Level 80 or Still No Life
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon GO: Level 80 or Still No Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because Pokémon GO, that game your grandma still doesn’t understand, is getting a HUGE update! 🎉…

ICE’s Newest Fashion Statement: Masked Agents and the Art of the Public Arrest
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE’s Newest Fashion Statement: Masked Agents and the Art of the Public Arrest

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another socialist media outlet whining about our GREAT President Trump enforcing the law! These illegal alien arrests are…

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another episode of the radical left crying about President Trump’s genius moves to drain the swamp! Harvard, that…

Kilmar Ábrego García’s Grand Entrance to ICE: A CNN Exclusive!
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Ábrego García’s Grand Entrance to ICE: A CNN Exclusive!

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another sob story from the radical Left! This time, it’s about Kilmar Ábrego García, a man who was…

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With
Breaking, Movie News

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups! Mystic Dream Story Studio (sounds legit), Stone Hill (probably a pile of rocks), and Saint Halo…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Alien Invasion Film Ever Because Steven Spielberg is Finally Going to Reveal the Truth About Earrings and Fashion Disasters from the 80s in Disclosure Day
  • Fake news ABC whines about Trump’s FCC crushing liberal broadcast thugs
  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic R&B Party on a Rooftop That Will Probably End with a Noise Complaint and a Visit from the Police
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2025
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