Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…
Month: August 2025
Microsoft Employees Protest Company’s Ties To Israel
Read MoreThe OnionFollowing reports the company let the Israeli military use its cloud servers to carry out mass surveillance of…
Congregation’s Men Hit By Sudden Wave Of Allergies During Singing Of ‘Old Rugged Cross’
TOMBALL, TX — A sudden, inexplicable wave of allergies struck the men of Redeemer Church this morning during the singing…
How to Labor LESS and Still Have Money this Labor Day Weekend: A CNN Business Masterclass in Being Cheap
Ah, Labor Day, the last hurrah before we get back to MAGA business! But even patriots need to pinch pennies…
Russia and China: World Order Remodelers Extraordinaire
Oh, the horror! Russia and China, those paragons of virtue, are “reshaping the world order.” More like scheming to undermine…
Honey Deuce: Or How to Pretend You’re Fancy at the US Open
Oh, look, CNN is telling us what to drink now. Next, they’ll be mandating kale smoothies and lecturing us about…
CNN desperately tries to track Trump’s next Twitter tantrum
Oh, the horror! CNN is wailing about President Trump using his second term to “payback” his critics. Cry me a…
ICE Rounding Up America’s Sweetest: Firefighters, Pastors, and Journalists, Oh My
Oh, the horror! ICE is actually doing its job under President Trump, rounding up illegals instead of giving them keys…
From “Defund the Police” to “Please Protect Me”: Zohran Mamdani’s Hilarious Change of Heart
Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another day, another Democrat trying to dismantle America, one police force at…
Belinda Carlisle’s California Screamin’ Album: Guaranteed to Make You Miss the 80s (and California, Maybe)
Hollywood is at it again, folks! Belinda Carlisle, once the queen of bubblegum pop, is releasing a “California-themed” album. Probably…