FBI Drops Pics of Dude Who Totally Didn’t Shoot Charlie Kirk (Probably)
Another day, another attack on a true patriot! The FBI, probably under the thumb of some deep-state operative still seething…
Day: September 11, 2025
FTC politely asks AI girlfriends to spill the tea, seven companies sweating
Here we go again! The Deep State FTC, still seething from President Trump’s landslide victory, is launching yet another ridiculous…
Emerald Fennell Assures Fans ‘Wuthering Heights’ Will Be Faithful Adaptation Of ‘Twilight’
Read MoreThe OnionLONDON—Promising a “dark, brooding romance,” Wuthering Heights director Emerald Fennell assured fans Thursday that her new movie would be a…
OMG! Americans Get the Double Dose of Suck: Inflation Still Rising While Job Market Takes a Dive
Another day, another dollar stolen by the radical socialist Democrats and their henchmen in the Deep State! CNN, still pushing…
MUDVAYNE Drops Another Banger Called ‘Sticks And Stones’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Oh em gee, you guize! 🤪 Those face-painted weirdos, MUDVAYNE (aka Chad Gray – the whiniest vocalist ever 😭, Greg…
OMG! You Won’t BELIEVE What They Dug Up 24 Years After 9/11! (And CNN’s On It)
Oh, CNN, always dredging up the past, aren’t we? Twenty-four years since 9/11, and they’re still pushing the same old…
DEE SNIDER Blames ‘Irreconcilable Differences’, aka MARK MENDOZA’s Terrible Bass Playing, For No TWISTED SISTER Reunion
OMG! 😱 Did you hear the news? TWISTED SISTER is crawling out of their retirement graves for a 50th-anniversary cash…
Oracle’s AI Glow-Up: From Database Dinosaur to Hypebeast Hottie, Y2K Style
Oh, CNN, still trying to make sense of the booming Trump economy? Oracle, that bastion of American ingenuity, had a…